If Joe and Valerie move to Los Angeles then I am totally moving to Los Angeles. Despite the fact that I am not the biggest fan of Los Angeles.

But it means I’d be able to basically live at UCB Theatre and Disneyland.

I bought a mirror from the thrift store last week, and hung it on my dining room wall. I caught my reflection one afternoon, and the person staring back at me had tears streaming down their face.

I brought my fingers to my cheek, and found it dry.

In Johnny Mnenomic, Keanu Reeves plays a character who smuggles data using an implant in his brain. But he had to dump his childhood memories to make space for the data space, however he makes a lot of money off of his smuggling runs.

So let us say that you can do the same, and for each job you do you make a million dollars. However you have to select 8 years of memories to wipe in order to store the data.

Would you do it? Which years would you delete? Who would you forget?

The Matrix: Keanu Reeves plugs a thing into his head
Johnny Mnenomic: Keanu Reeves plugs a thing into his head

Constantine: Keanu Reeves bleeds all up in a bathroom sink in dramatic fashion
Johnny Mnenomic: Keanu Reeves bleeds all up in a bathroom sink in dramatic fashion

frenchgrapefruit said: What is Howard the Duck even about? I could never bring myself to watch it.

An anthropomorphic duck named Howard is accidentally transported to Earth, shacks up with Lea Thompson, accidentally brings an evil alien presence to Earth when trying to return home (which inhabits Jeffrey Jones), and in the end becomes the manager for Lea’s band and hangs out on Earth after teaming up with Tim Robbins to kill the alien with a laser thing.

It is so insane, the dialogue is bonkers and terrible and the costumes/suits are fucking terrifying. There is also a lot of strange sexual content.

Time to watch Johnny Mnenomic and drink gin.

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Howard the Duck is rated PG, but in the first 10 minutes you see Howard browsing an issue of Playduck and you straight-on see a nude female duck complete with boobs and nipples.

Then later on in the movie you see Howard working at a bath house and people are basically dry-humping and there is so much weird, bare skin and then Lea Thompson is in her underwear and nightie teasing Howard about sex and his plumage raises like a gigantic boner on the top of his head. 

"Produced by George Lucas"

I really don’t think you understand how utterly insane the movie Howard the Duck truly is.

I have five words for you:

Duck boobs complete with nipples

I feel like chihuahuas aren’t even real dogs but instead people who died and were reincarnated as a dog and are like “I did not sign up for this”

I think I am for real in love with Chris Evans it is very frustrating.