February 2012
I got excited while driving to the gym because a...
But my friend said it didn’t mean anything because she was dressed like the Statue of Liberty.
Alright.
Alright alright.
Hoo boy.
Alright.
Okay alright. Alright.
Alright.
I should go to the gym.
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I have a boner.
For you.
I have the sleeping pattern of a baby.
I nap intermittently during the day, and wake up constantly during the night with a soiled diaper and a sour disposition.
*Darth Vader noises*
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I spend more time reporting spam bots on Twitter...
I'm cool.
Said the cucumber.
Anonymous asked: You look like The Doctor in that last one. YOU SHOULD BE THE NEXT DOCTOR.
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If you're a butt, I'm a butt.
I am so bad at making eye contact.
I’m either too intense or too haphazard.
It’s like,
“I AM LOOKING INSIDE OF YOU.”
or
“hey i see you oh the door opened over there look a car outside whoops back around looking at your forehead that’s close enough whoops that lady dropped her purse oh man my shoes are shiny hey there’s your cleavage.”
DTF.
Down To Fornicate.
My feet are cold.
Time to get new feet.
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"So, pardner. Any last words?"
“AGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA.”
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I wish my last name was Hamburger.
Because then every time I eat one, I could shrug my shoulders at the camera and say, “You are what you eat!”
And then the audience would laugh.
Restraining order? I hardly new 'er!
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Vanilla Ice is a Juggalo.
Sort of makes sense when you think about it.
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Going to get Denny's for dinner, because I feel...
So I guess everyone's gonorrhea came backorrhea.
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Having a beard is nice, but it stops me from...
Characters I’d like to dress as who lack a beard:
The Doctor
Scott Pilgrim
Malcolm Reynolds
John Constantine
Admiral Kirk
The Question
The Spirit
Characters I’d like to dress as who have a beard:
Hm.
Shaun…wait, that’s just a goatee. And I’d have to peroxide my head
Goddammit.
Billy Mays?
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Never has my craving for Doritos been as strong as...
I haven't had a drink in a week and a half.
I never knew how homely everyone in my city was until now.
Oh, hi there.
Face down, ass up.
That’s the way I browse the bottom of my media shelf.
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I hate having short hair.
It gives me nothing to grab hold of when I’m masturbating.
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Don't look at me like that.
I’m not the only one who goes to Target just so I can walk around with my 3DS in pocket so I can record my steps and then turn those steps into coins and then turn those coins into heroes which I can then use to conquer the final demon boss of Shadow Tower in Find Mii 2.
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Goddammit, role playing games.
Stop giving me nine characters to deal with.
I am so tired of RPGs throwing a dozen party members at me during the game. It so often detracts from the overall story because many characters A) don’t get expanded upon much, or B) DO get expanded upon instead of other, more important characters.
Just give me like, 3-4 characters. Hell, make me use the same characters the entire game. I...
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Snuggle-Tron 5000.
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Alright, my Seattle research.
So, as mentioned last night, Laura mentioned to me the notion of moving with her to Seattle. I thought on it all night, and have spent most of this afternoon compiling information concerning expenses and how much money I would need to make such an endeavor possible.
Now nothing is decided, obviously. I know how easy it is to get excited over some new life venture and I’m not jumping onboard...
Laura has asked me to move with her to Seattle...
I am seriously considering it.
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Life after Disneyland.
It’s difficult.
After returning home from my week-long vacation to Los Angeles/Disneyland with Joe and Valerie, I’ve found myself a bit down low. Not taking into account that I contracted food poisoning last Monday and spent most of the week recuperating, I’ve sort of been lacking in any energy or drive lately.
I put my webcomic on hiatus and I honestly don’t think...
Anonymous asked: are you bored?
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“Save the butthole for the second date.”
– Luke