August 2012
Anonymous asked: They are making a Hangover 3... What are your thoughts on this? I think its a little over played by now, but I love reading your opinions and reviews.
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Where I talk about movies.
Daredevil
Spider-Man 3
The Three Stooges
Tiptoes
Jurassic Park 3
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Dark Knight
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight Rises (1)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Pitch Black/The Chronicles of Riddick
Lost in Space
The Amazing Spider-Man
Sherlock Holmes
The Hunger Games (1)
The Avengers
The Darkest Hour
The Hangover 2
The Adventures of...
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Daredevil.
The funniest thing about the Daredevil movie is that it gets right what so many other comic book movies get wrong.
[[MORE]]The costume.
I don’t think there is anyone that can say that the piece they put together for the Ben Affleck-headlined, 2003 superhero flick is any more than an inch away from how the costume is depicted in the pages of Marvel’s comics. In fact, I would go as far...
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Vodka-infused spiders.
I want to see a video game where it’s a modern day setting and your character is friends with an eccentric scientist who creates a time machine (like Back to the Future). Your first actions will be deciding on a time to travel to, and that decision will be the basis for the rest of the game — if you travel to the future you will be in a post-apocalyptic Mad Mad action game. If you...
When all else fails, Taco Bell.
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July 2012
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I've never felt this low before.
It’s making me re-evaluate my perception of myself, my past decisions, and my personality as a whole.
I’ve never questioned my core. Now…I honestly don’t know. I feel like I’m not in control anymore, like I’ve lost a grip on my personality and my life in general. I spend more of my days wrangling in my anxiety and breakdowns, and the remainder trying to piece...
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If I could do high school over again...
Speak out more. There was always a fearful respect of authority that kept most of us in line, but now I understand that no one could have made me do anything I didn’t want to. The “iron law” of the teachers and faculty was a facade.
Date. You know, like…at all. I had one girlfriend for a few months before being moved, and then kicked out/left my Mom’s house and...
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2 a.m., we need to stop meeting like this.
You know.
Pantless.
jesus why did i drink all of that sunny d.
and vodka.
inside the sunny d.
Anonymous asked: You're such a genius. I love when you reply to my deep borderline creepy asks. I guess I'm entering a weird stage in my life.
Anonymous asked: Do you ever fear you'll die alone. I come from a strange area in th south where most girls are married by 21 and have a child. I don't know how that is relevant.
Anonymous asked: Tonight is my last night as a teenager and I'm really bummed about it. My 3 year relationship is practically ended because he lied to me about going to prison right before I was to move in (we're 6 hours apart). I feel lost. I wasted my late teens on him and planned my life around eventually being with him. I know I'm mega young and am fortunate enough to have a ton of options but...
i liek it when boobs.
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Never has there been a time when not being an...
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
NO.
I have this irrational fear that all animals...
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I always thought "screw the pooch" was a weird...
Nope, it just means “fucking the dog.”
I'm having one of those days.
You know.
Where I’m conscious.
Spider-Man 3.
There is a reason I avoided re-watching this movie after the May 4th midnight screening.
[[MORE]]Trilogies are difficult because there is always going to be a weak leak somewhere along the line. Whether or not the movie in question is actually BAD doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that in a set of films that astound and amaze there is usually one that just doesn’t fly as high as...
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Batman Alphabet
A is for Arkham, where the worst villains sleep
B is the Batman, who gives bad guys the creeps
C is for Clayface, he has many looks
D is for Drake, known as Red Robin to crooks
E is for enemies, of which Batman doesn’t lack
F is for Firefly, who shoots flames from his pack
G is for graves, where the Wayne parents rest
H is for Harvey, his coin’ll put you to the test
I is for...
ladylinencloset asked: who does karaoke in the middle of the day???
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Thai karaoke in the livingroom.
Time to not be at home for the rest of the day.
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Nightmares are a good source for story ideas.
I feel crazy.
Goodnight.
Anonymous asked: I hate having a crush on you.
I hope someone refers to me as a “loose cannon” before I die.
People should watch more late-night network...
Then they’d know that we’ve cured:
Baldness
Impotence
Herpes
Vagina dryness
Those pesky grey hairs that you didn’t have time to dye out before a big night
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Ugh, video game websites.
Back in the day I offered up my (terrible) writing services to a few different websites which featured content videogame-related content. It was the dream of every middle school geek who ever took part in an AOL forum conversation regarding Aeris’ death, the amazing graphics in Flashback, or how Geno was the most useful character in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.
So despite my...
Everyone clicking the free McDonald's food link:
Really?
Really?
I expected more from you. As often as you may shake fingers at the Facebook spam that family members and co-workers fall prey to, you can’t see through an even more obvious attempt to get a click and (most likely) spyware attack?
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I haven't played World of Warcraft in two weeks.
I’d say that’s a good thing
if I weren’t still paying the subscription fee.
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Some nights you just need to marathon some old...
All Pogs Go To Heaven.
tinta-turnter asked: jeff would you stop being so cute god
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i have this condition where every time i think about eating pizza i want to eat pizza.
beware people who refer to themselves as “goofballs.”
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genuinehorror asked: Um, ur a phony bcuz u didn't even mention that Cool Ranch Doritos used to be called "Cooler Ranch" and if u were rly in luv w/them u would kno that.
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I love Gene.
Louise: You're defending your title. Are you sure you're up to it?
Gene: Why don't you ask my diarrhea?