clutter.

I’m alive.

That was a pretty fucking terrible 24 hours. I’m feeling mostly better, but not 100% and I’m sore all over from a day of dry-heaving and retching.

I tried to sleep most of the day but it just wasn’t working out. I couldn’t keep anything down, and I didn’t have my first real bite of food until 10 p.m. or so. I thought I was going to heave that up too, but instead my body and brain decided to take a short detour into crazy town and I lost my mind for a good while. 

I thought I was going to get sick again, but I wasn’t able to throw up, but I NEEDED to sleep. So I laid down and tried to do some breathing exercises. What happened next was an 8-hour trip-fest where my body and the bed had become a series of rides in a theme park for both insects and humans. It’s hard to explain, but basically to deal with the motion of the ocean (my stomach and head) I somehow conjured an elaborate scenario in which movements and placements of pillows and blankets were monorail rides, mine cart rides, and other segments. And the thing is, I was AWAKE for nearly all of it — I’d look around in the dark and shit wasn’t copacetic. 

In fact, I had to convince myself that I could move outside the boundaries of the park rides in order to get water from the kitchen — it was very freaky. But I was able to keep most everything down finally, and woke around 11 today feeling a bit more stable.

I am not going to be eating any frozen pizzas for a long while, or drinking probably. 

1. galaxar liked this
2. petitessedespassions liked this
3. celestialcow liked this
4. tehjeff posted this